Mike

I've always thought of myself as a strong person - physically, mentally and emotionally - and I'm finding reserves to fight through this situation that I didn't even realise. If I was talking to someone else who was going through what I've been going through, if they were still moving forward and onward, I would tell them that I'm proud of them. I should be proud of myself.

What does it mean to be strong? What are my strengths?

You wouldn't think this would be a hard question to answer and 18-months ago, I would have had no difficulty telling you them but with this depression and questioning my identity, I'm finding myself less sure of myself. Although the more work I'm doing on it, the more I'm realising that despite my life being turned upside down, I'm still the same me at my core.

I'm thorough and conscientious, I'm very careful in what I do and I pay attention to details - but without losing sight of the big picture. I know what I'm doing, and why.

I'm curious. I love to learn new things about the world around me, I want to understand the people in my life. I love surprises - to try new food, talk to a stranger or just ask a question. This is something I'm trying my hardest to instill in my son

I'm polite. I was brought up to mind my p's and q's Good manners cost nothing and I'm forever horrified at the way people treat other people, there's no respect or kindness anymore.

I've been reading recently about the power of positivity, of affirmations, of mindfulness and well being and it's benefits for mental health. These are all things I'm working towards - as the Serenity Prayer goes: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference

Keep your head up and your heart open.
After being with the same woman for over 15 years and coming to the realisation that I'm bisexual, and sudden entrance into singledom, I'm not ready yet for meeting anyone else... let alone the confusion of who I'd want to be in a relationship with.

However, I trust that if I keep my head up and my heart open, good things will come into my life. I use this both figuratively and literally.

By actually keeping your head up, smiling at people as they walk by, and keeping aware of your surroundings, you may notice something or meet someone that you potentially could have missed had your head been down

Go slowly.
With everything. Eating. Talking. Taking a shower. Driving. Even having sex.

I'm noticing that when I am super-stressed out about things, I have a tendency to run around like a lunatic, doing several things at once, often having to re-track my steps because I was so distracted that I left several things out.

I found that my projects, errands, and even my conversations with people became very watered down because I was rushing just to finish.

Now, whenever I feel like I’m rushing to just get things done, I slow down my pace, take a deep breath, and take my time with whatever it is I am rushing to do.

When we slow down, we can taste all the flavors in our food and we digest our meals better. We are better communicators when we talk slower, and we become better listeners.

Be easy.
Or in other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.

I'm realising that most of the issues that are giving me anxiety are completely out of my control, and they are usually things that wouldn’t matter five years, five months or even five minutes from the time.

I'm learning to not get so worked up over the small things, stressing about matters that, in the end, really didn’t make a difference.

So, if you find yourself getting road rage from the guy that cut you off on the highway, let him be. Why get angry and stress yourself out over it? Just be easy.

Did someone on the train bump you as they walked by? Who cares? The cab is packed; it wasn’t her fault. Be easy.