Mike

Not quite New Year resolutions but... New Me plans. I have always been very fond of not only writing out plans, but making them step-by-step, tangible goals. I want to achieve A and I will do this by BCD, kind of thing. Following on from yesterday's post, the main thing I need to do is get back into work.

I am signed off through the rest of August, to be reassessed the last week. If my GP gives me the OK to return to work, I will contact my manager and arrange a meeting with him and our HR person. I will be proposing a phased return to work, starting with part time hours 3 days a week and see how we go from there. Obviously this is something that would need to be reviewed as I get back into the swing of things, and of course is dependent on them agreeing to the proposal.

Once I'm back in work, the next step would be building up my financial reserves to have a deposit to put down on either a flat or a house of my own. I suspect initially renting, rather than buying. Ideally a two bedroom place, near to work and my son's school.

Only then will I be in a stable position to counter the custody situation and petition for joint custody, rather than just seeing him at weekends.

There's smaller goals I'd like to achieve as well.
I've started and plan on finishing watching the whole Star Trek verse as per the Star Trek Chronology Project - hey, I'm a geek, remember?
Read 25 books
Get to grips with blogging and social media
Be open to trying new things

You would have thought that by my late 40s I would know who I am, that I would be comfortable in my own skin. And, for the most part, I am. I quite happily accept the labels Metalhead, Bookworm, Pagan, Goth, Geek and Father.

There are two more, recent acquisitions, that I'm learning how they apply to my life, how they represent my view of myself. Divorcee. Bisexual.

And yes, they are connected. My wife threw me out at the beginning of 2018 after we both discovered I have an attraction to Chris Hemsworth, specifically as Thor in Thor: Ragnarok. She accused me of all number of vile, hurtful things, including but not limited to lying to her for the last 15 years.

From my perspective, I was not lying to her, I had not realised I had an attraction to him, or to any man. Although, over the last year I am realising it may have been repressed and I'm definitely attracted to much more men than I previously realised. I am, however, still very attracted to and turned on by women.

This is me saying for the first time 'out loud' - My name is Mike, and I am bisexual.